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Once upon a time...
...a little girl was born in West Texas into a tumultuous life she could barely comprehend. An alcoholic mother and a rash of stepfathers (who either abused or didn't want her and her two brothers) didn't make up a very nice recipe, and so she saw and endured things that a little girl should never even be aware of. In the midst of all the pain, confusion, and secrecy, the little girl lost herself in a big book of old fairytales lovingly provided by her grandmother. She dreamed of love and sunshine and everlasting happiness. As she grew older, the fairytales were replaced by the works of Shakespeare, another book drawing dust in her grandmother's collection. "Rapunzel" and "Sleeping Beauty" were soon replaced by "Romeo and Juliet," and though it was quite a jump from Grimm's Fairytales to Shakespeare, one message remained loud and clear: love conquers all. And so the girl grew into a young woman who knew with all her heart that one day, her prince would arrive to sweep her off her feet.
The years continued to pass. Men came and went. Mistakes were made and heartbreaks had; false starts and broken dreams. She became the mother of two beautiful children, but still her prince did not come. She began to lose hope, feeling that perhaps she wasn't worthy of such a happy life. You see, it isn't easy to escape the only world you've ever known. A world filled with too much mental and physical abuse can create a self-esteem so low that it is almost non-existent, and sometimes, in an effort to be loved and accepted, the tools we measure our worth with become distorted. Even the sweetest of moments can come to a cold and bitter end, leaving a heart of gold plundered and broken.
In the middle of her life, the woman pulled herself from the wreckage of her past disasters and examined her existence. She recognized the mistakes and began to rebuild her self-esteem. She had failed herself, her children, and after a period of mourning, she regained her strength and resolve and renewed her vow to herself. She looked at men, at love, in a different light. No more mistakes!
In the summer of 2001, she journeyed to Ireland where she spent a great deal of time alone, soul-searching. She made friends and met a different breed of man—the kind with values and morals, the kind that waited for genuine love before they married, the kind that respected women and wooed them wholeheartedly. And when she returned to America, she knew that the only kind of man she could ever love would be that kind.
Finally, in her forty-first year, her prince did come along, and like a fairytale, he was from far across the sea—Colin Bakewell, a Scotsman with a heart of gold and a passion for love that equaled her own. He made her smile and laugh and believe in love again, and she knew with all her heart that he was the one she had been born for.
Sometimes it takes a while, but if a little girl doesn't lose hope, one day her prince comes riding into her life...and fairytales and sunshine dreams really can come true.
Will there be a happy ending to this story? Only time will tell.
In the meantime, I celebrate my love for him and bare my soul to the world with the one hope that he will see and understand the strength and depth of my love for him. When the world becomes a place he can barely endure, this place waits for him and will always serve as a reminder that no matter how tough life gets, there is a safe and loving harbor here in my arms, here in my heart, and in the farthest reaches of my very soul.
